Without You
by Lynnwhitlockofcourse
Summary: One Shot. What if Darkward left Bella in New Moon broken and battered? What if she finds happiness with another and just as life improves for her, Edward comes back to take what is his? BxE
1. Chapter 1

___Without You_

_What if Edward was controlling and abusive?_

_What if when he left Bella gave her heart to Jacob fully?_

_What if Edward came back after he heard she'd gotten married and was now Mrs. Black?_

_What would Bella tell him when he showed up unexpectedly wanting her back? _

_What if she handed him a note she'd written because she knew he would be back?_

_What if it read... _

_..._

_..._

_..._

Dear Edward,

Without you here I am empty...

Clutching to ideals you instilled in me

Losing all faith in those around me

Drawing within myself for reassurance

Without you here I am alone...

Staring blankly at the nothingness

Letting the darkness take over me

Fighting a battle I can never win

Without you here I am afraid...

Of what I've become

Of what you've done

Of the people I trust the most

Of the emptiness I feel

Of the hole I can never repair

Of the things I'll never forget

Of your inevitable return

Of the bruises they will find

Of what my family and friends will think

Without you here I have learned...

That I am strong on my own

That I am worth it

That I can find my true sunshine

That I don't need to cower in your shadow

Without you here I am happy...

Happy to be free of your controlling behavior

Happy to be able to smile

Happy to be one

Happy to be happy

Without you her I am free...

Free of the bruises

Free of your demeaning words

Free of your daily insults

Free to spread my wings and take flight

Free once again to love and be loved

I am glad you're gone because without you here I'm empty, alone, afraid

But I have learned to be happy and to be free

Everything I was not when you were with me

**_Bella_**

...

...

...

_What if he looks up to see her smiling the most beautiful smile at her loving husband as he rubs her rounded belly_

_Will he let her go?_


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

I looked up at her  
She was radiate  
Glowing ever so softly  
Pregnancy agreed with her

She was looking at Jacob with so much love that I felt the need to look away  
I couldn't help but to think of how she use to look at me that way  
He was looking at her in the exact same manor, his thoughts reflecting the love and adoration he held for her  
I use to think those things about her, look that way at her every time she entered the room

What went wrong?

I know I left, but I left because, I was just so angry  
Angry at myself  
Angry at my family  
Angry at her  
Though she didn't deserve it  
I just couldn't control it!

I had never felt that angry in all of my existence.  
She bore the brute of my anger  
I only felt better when she was in pain  
Because she just stood there and took it  
To afraid of me leaving to leave me  
She was such an easy target  
That the monster within me took joy in her cowardice  
In the fact she did nothing  
Said nothing  
Hid the bruises so well  
She even took my insults to heart,  
I never meant any of them  
But I received sheer pleasure in her becoming  
More withdrawn  
Listening to my every order and demand  
It was nice to have someone to bend,  
To break  
To make feel like I did every tortuous moment of this damned existence that I lived  
I needed her to see  
To understand what I went through every day  
So she would not want this  
So she wouldn't want me  
But she never got it  
Even when I started to become violent  
She never got that I was a monster  
Inside and out  
I finally just couldn't take it anymore

I was hurting the only girl I've ever loved  
And was enjoying it

I was sick and I was afraid  
I didn't want to lose her  
But I didn't want to keep her  
If I kept her she would only continue her quest into a  
Lifeless  
Loveless  
Angry existence  
And I couldn't and would not have that

Looking at her and Jacob's loving embrace  
I realized that this is exactly where she was suppose to be  
She supposed to loved  
Cherished  
Beautiful  
Pregnant  
And aging gracefully  
Not forever eighteen and resisting the urge to kill every waking moment of her existence  
I'm glad I left her  
Though my pain has increased without her  
I knew without a doubt this was the best choice

I looked into her sparkling brown eyes and smiled  
She had found her true happiness  
And I was glad that she had it  
Even if it wasn't with me.

**A/N: Ok so there you have it! Edward's reasoning behind everything. Hope you enjoyed =) R&R**


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